The power of true friendship.

I was in the middle of that entire confusion and, honestly, I didn’t know what I could do to change the things. I didn’t know Violet as well as I would like to but I know Jimmy very well to be sure Violet was the most precious possession he had. Jimmy could live without everything and everybody, but Violet was essential in his life. For that reason I couldn’t understand what crossed in his mind at the moment. One minute Jimmy was saying Violet would never lose him and the next minute he was breaking up with her.

Jimmy had some difficulties to lead with his health problem and he always tried to forget it what had made us forget it too. But now that Violet knew the truth, their relationship could change. I understood Jimmy’s point but, for the other hand, Violet needed to know. She would marry him. She would be the one who would be with him till the rest of his life and the only one who could save him. However, Jimmy couldn’t see this.


“Go home, Violet. I need to be alone.” – Jimmy didn't look at Violet when he said these words. Violet stood motionless in that chair like a rock. I was behind her with my hands on her shoulders trying to calm her down but I knew there was nothing I could do for her. I approached Jimmy so he would look at me in the eyes. I was so nervous I felt like my body weighed a ton making my steps becoming slow. I came closer to Jimmy, he looked at me for a few seconds, lost and desperate, and then looked at the ceiling. I looked around and grabbed a chair, pulling it to me and sitting down beside Jimmy. I touched his arm to get his attention but he just smiled faintly without looking at me.


"Jimmy, you love her. She can take care of you. It doesn't mean that she is with you just because you're sick. She loves you and she made a promise to you. Being sick or not, I'm sure Violet will never stop loving you."


"You say that because it's not you who here seeing the woman of your life crying for you while you're fighting for life being unable to do anything to change the shit you have on your chest." – With that moment, Violet got up of the chair very slowly, sniffing and wiping tears from her face. One more time, Jimmy’s eyes didn’t leave the lost point on the ceiling. She looked at him for a few seconds waiting just one word coming out of Jimmy’s mouth: Stay. But she had nothing as an answer. She turned her back to Jimmy and walked to the door. When she was leaving, Jimmy's voice made ​​her turn to him. – “Violet, wait. Brian, go with Violet and take care of her.”


“I’ll go with her but I need to talk with you first.”


“I’m waiting outside, Brian.” – Violet looked at Jimmy this time in his eyes. That exchange of glances was accompanied by increased Jimmy's heartbeat revealed by the cardiac monitor. That sound was like a soundtrack to a movie and, I confess, that made me laugh. It was obvious that they loved each other and it seemed like Jimmy was doing a child's tantrum. I know I may sound selfish saying this but... the truth is all this was merely a silly that I stubbornly refused to understand. When Violet left the room, Jimmy's eyes glued to that door. I coughed so that Jimmy came back to earth and look up to me.


“What?”


“What? Jimmy, what’s wrong with you, dude?”


“I think it’s the best for both of us.”


“Jimmy, did you think she would never find out? Violet is not a dumb! Actually, she's very smart and she would eventually understand that something was wrong with you. Medications, routine visits... Oh, by the way, why the hell you stopped taking medicines?”


“You know why, Brian…”


“Damn! Do you want to kill yourself? Jimmy, if Violet wasn’t there with you, do you have idea probably you couldn’t be here talking to me right now?”


“Yeah…”


“Is this what you wanted of your life? Die alone just for your bride doesn't find out that you have a health problem? I understand you, bro. But, honestly, do you think she would change because of this? Come on! In my opinion, she will love you even more because you can show her how much you’re strong. You can prove to her she wasn’t wrong about you, you’re different. Yeah, you’re different from other people. You know why? You’re the most amazing person that exists in this world. You live the life of a unique and wonderful way. You are the joy of all of us. It’s why the boys, Violet and I love you so much. Now, wake up from this nightmare. Wake up, Jimmy! You have an awesome woman by your side. She does everything for you. Don't throw it all away. Don't want to live unhappy for the rest of your life. Yeah, because Violet is your happiness.”


“Jesus, Brian… But I know she will change…”


“Of course, she will change. She’ll change, I’ll change, and everybody will change. Because… we love you and we care about you. It’s not the first time that it happens and you know we have some cares about you when you come back home. And now it’s not different. This time it was very serious, buddy. You almost die! We don’t wanna lose you like this, Jimmy.”


“My God, I was so stupid… But… Fuck, man… I can’t think right now… you’re right. You’re right…”


“Can I call Violet to come here?”


“She shouldn't have even left this room.”


“I knew it!” - I smiled at Jimmy and saw happiness invading his eyes. Jimmy sighed as if somebody had taken all the pain away from his chest. He was convinced that Violet would change but the truth is he also knew that she loved him more than anything in life and what united them was something incomprehensible but strong and true. When I started to get my stuff to go to the waiting room to call Violet, Jimmy grabbed my arm making me look at him. He smiled at me with the eyes full of tears and a huge sadness in his eyes that mingled with the happiness expressed in your smile. I furrowed my brow expressing confusion I was feeling at seeing my best friend like that. – “Ji-Jimmy, do… do you need something?”


“Promise me…”


“What?”


“You’re my best friend… promise me you’ll take care of Violet when I die. I’m so fucking scared to leave her in this world alone but I know it will happen soon… I know you’re the best man to take care of her.”


“Jimmy… Don’t think about it right now, please, man. You have so much to live yet. We have so much to do. The band is having success now. We got it, bro! And you are with Violet again, you will marry her... and I am sure that you want to have kids... come on! Forget this! But… you have my word! You know you can always count on me.”


“Thank you, Brian. Thank you… Now, move you fat ass and bring Violet to me!”


“It’s for now!” – I got my stuff and walked towards the door. I opened it but I had something important to tell Jimmy. We just thought in the important things when we lose someone we love, when this person dies… so, I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to say to Jimmy how important he was to me. I turned to him, staring at that bully smile but at the same time so sweet... I felt an enormous happiness seeing that smile. It’s as if I had no more ground from below my feet and I had begun to fly. My god, it was good to feel that. – “Jimmy…”


“Yeah.”


“You’re the best friend and the best brother in the world. I’m so proud to be your friend, man…”


“Lame!”


“Seriously. I can’t imagine my life without you, James… we grow up together. We lived a dream together. When I think about all my life… well… I think about you. Because you had been there in every single moment. You always were there. Thank you, brother.”


“Come on, Gates. I don’t wanna cry. I’m a man! Fuck you and bring me Violet.”

The power of true friendship.

I was in the middle of that entire confusion and, honestly, I didn’t know what I could do to change the things. I didn’t know Violet as well as I would like to but I know Jimmy very well to be sure Violet was the most precious possession he had. Jimmy could live without everything and everybody, but Violet was essential in his life. For that reason I couldn’t understand what crossed in his mind at the moment. One minute Jimmy was saying Violet would never lose him and the next minute he was breaking up with her.

Jimmy had some difficulties to lead with his health problem and he always tried to forget it what had made us forget it too. But now that Violet knew the truth, their relationship could change. I understood Jimmy’s point but, for the other hand, Violet needed to know. She would marry him. She would be the one who would be with him till the rest of his life and the only one who could save him. However, Jimmy couldn’t see this.


“Go home, Violet. I need to be alone.” – Jimmy didn't look at Violet when he said these words. Violet stood motionless in that chair like a rock. I was behind her with my hands on her shoulders trying to calm her down but I knew there was nothing I could do for her. I approached Jimmy so he would look at me in the eyes. I was so nervous I felt like my body weighed a ton making my steps becoming slow. I came closer to Jimmy, he looked at me for a few seconds, lost and desperate, and then looked at the ceiling. I looked around and grabbed a chair, pulling it to me and sitting down beside Jimmy. I touched his arm to get his attention but he just smiled faintly without looking at me.


"Jimmy, you love her. She can take care of you. It doesn't mean that she is with you just because you're sick. She loves you and she made a promise to you. Being sick or not, I'm sure Violet will never stop loving you."


"You say that because it's not you who here seeing the woman of your life crying for you while you're fighting for life being unable to do anything to change the shit you have on your chest." – With that moment, Violet got up of the chair very slowly, sniffing and wiping tears from her face. One more time, Jimmy’s eyes didn’t leave the lost point on the ceiling. She looked at him for a few seconds waiting just one word coming out of Jimmy’s mouth: Stay. But she had nothing as an answer. She turned her back to Jimmy and walked to the door. When she was leaving, Jimmy's voice made ​​her turn to him. – “Violet, wait. Brian, go with Violet and take care of her.”


“I’ll go with her but I need to talk with you first.”


“I’m waiting outside, Brian.” – Violet looked at Jimmy this time in his eyes. That exchange of glances was accompanied by increased Jimmy's heartbeat revealed by the cardiac monitor. That sound was like a soundtrack to a movie and, I confess, that made me laugh. It was obvious that they loved each other and it seemed like Jimmy was doing a child's tantrum. I know I may sound selfish saying this but... the truth is all this was merely a silly that I stubbornly refused to understand. When Violet left the room, Jimmy's eyes glued to that door. I coughed so that Jimmy came back to earth and look up to me.


“What?”


“What? Jimmy, what’s wrong with you, dude?”


“I think it’s the best for both of us.”


“Jimmy, did you think she would never find out? Violet is not a dumb! Actually, she's very smart and she would eventually understand that something was wrong with you. Medications, routine visits... Oh, by the way, why the hell you stopped taking medicines?”


“You know why, Brian…”


“Damn! Do you want to kill yourself? Jimmy, if Violet wasn’t there with you, do you have idea probably you couldn’t be here talking to me right now?”


“Yeah…”


“Is this what you wanted of your life? Die alone just for your bride doesn't find out that you have a health problem? I understand you, bro. But, honestly, do you think she would change because of this? Come on! In my opinion, she will love you even more because you can show her how much you’re strong. You can prove to her she wasn’t wrong about you, you’re different. Yeah, you’re different from other people. You know why? You’re the most amazing person that exists in this world. You live the life of a unique and wonderful way. You are the joy of all of us. It’s why the boys, Violet and I love you so much. Now, wake up from this nightmare. Wake up, Jimmy! You have an awesome woman by your side. She does everything for you. Don't throw it all away. Don't want to live unhappy for the rest of your life. Yeah, because Violet is your happiness.”


“Jesus, Brian… But I know she will change…”


“Of course, she will change. She’ll change, I’ll change, and everybody will change. Because… we love you and we care about you. It’s not the first time that it happens and you know we have some cares about you when you come back home. And now it’s not different. This time it was very serious, buddy. You almost die! We don’t wanna lose you like this, Jimmy.”


“My God, I was so stupid… But… Fuck, man… I can’t think right now… you’re right. You’re right…”


“Can I call Violet to come here?”


“She shouldn't have even left this room.”


“I knew it!” - I smiled at Jimmy and saw happiness invading his eyes. Jimmy sighed as if somebody had taken all the pain away from his chest. He was convinced that Violet would change but the truth is he also knew that she loved him more than anything in life and what united them was something incomprehensible but strong and true. When I started to get my stuff to go to the waiting room to call Violet, Jimmy grabbed my arm making me look at him. He smiled at me with the eyes full of tears and a huge sadness in his eyes that mingled with the happiness expressed in your smile. I furrowed my brow expressing confusion I was feeling at seeing my best friend like that. – “Ji-Jimmy, do… do you need something?”


“Promise me…”


“What?”


“You’re my best friend… promise me you’ll take care of Violet when I die. I’m so fucking scared to leave her in this world alone but I know it will happen soon… I know you’re the best man to take care of her.”


“Jimmy… Don’t think about it right now, please, man. You have so much to live yet. We have so much to do. The band is having success now. We got it, bro! And you are with Violet again, you will marry her... and I am sure that you want to have kids... come on! Forget this! But… you have my word! You know you can always count on me.”


“Thank you, Brian. Thank you… Now, move you fat ass and bring Violet to me!”


“It’s for now!” – I got my stuff and walked towards the door. I opened it but I had something important to tell Jimmy. We just thought in the important things when we lose someone we love, when this person dies… so, I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to say to Jimmy how important he was to me. I turned to him, staring at that bully smile but at the same time so sweet... I felt an enormous happiness seeing that smile. It’s as if I had no more ground from below my feet and I had begun to fly. My god, it was good to feel that. – “Jimmy…”


“Yeah.”


“You’re the best friend and the best brother in the world. I’m so proud to be your friend, man…”


“Lame!”


“Seriously. I can’t imagine my life without you, James… we grow up together. We lived a dream together. When I think about all my life… well… I think about you. Because you had been there in every single moment. You always were there. Thank you, brother.”


“Come on, Gates. I don’t wanna cry. I’m a man! Fuck you and bring me Violet.”

If you 're not the one...

“But it’s not fair…”


“Who said life is fair, Violet?”


“Why didn’t you tell me?”


“About what?”


“Your health problem…”


“I could tell you but… for what? It’s not a problem, actually…”


“It’s not a problem? Jimmy you have a serious health problem. You should tell me.”


“I didn’t, Vi. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. It’s not easy live with this bullshit in my chest. This bullshit that, at the same time, keep me alive. But it hurts, you know? It hurts a lot. But, believe me, what hurts me more is seeing you suffering. I didn’t tell you because I want you to be honest with me. I want you to love me.”


“I think I gotta go…”


“No, Brian. Stay.” – I grabbed Brian arm and asked him to stay there. It was important to me have him there. I needed to say everything that I had stuck in my chest. I needed to take out all this weight that I was holding up all this time. I knew any day I wouldn't have the same luck I had that day and that disease was killing me slowly. I avoided talking about it to keep the people I love around me just because the person I am and not for the fact that I could die at any moment. And Violet... Violet was the only person who shouldn't know about it. I had the notion that our relationship would change radically from that moment. She would be with me out of pity. If she wouldn't love me anymore, she would never say that because she doesn't want me to die alone. She would avoid so many things simply not to hurt me, because I'm sick, because I have a disease that can kill me today, tomorrow or 10 years from now.
Brian stopped and looked at me with his brown sad eyes. I looked at him, removing the oxygen mask and, then, I looked at Violet grabbing her hand and wiping the tears from her face with my cold hand but she turned away from me.


“Do you have doubts about my love for you?”


“Of course not. Why are you asking that?”


“You said you didn’t tell me about this because you want me to be honest with you… because you want me to love you… why did you say that, Jimmy? I thought I showed that perfectly to you. I try, at least.”


“Violet… I know you love me and I know you’re always honest with me but… will you say to me you won’t treat me in a different way from now on?”


“In a different way? Jimmy, you know I’m not that kind of person who feels pity about somebody but you are-”


“Yeah, I’m different from other people… Brian always knew about this and never treated me differently, right Brian?”


“Yeah but-” - Brian said, trying to give his opinion about everything that he was watching but I didn't let him finish. He was completely lost and confused, trying to intervene to prevent the worst but he wasn't enough. No one could stop me at that moment.


“See? Brian knows what I’m talking about. And I know you’ll act like I’m a nerd or a powerless guy who needs special cares and all that shit… please, Violet…” - Violet looked at me with a huge sadness expressed in her eyes. Her whole body language was showing me the despair which was invading her but I could not see it at the time. It was like I was blind. I just wanted to take her out of that situation.


“I will forget what you said right now, Jimmy.”


“No, you can’t forget-”


“Jimmy, take it easy, buddy. You will end up saying things you don’t want to say.” - I ignored Brian's advice and also ignored what my heart was telling me. I was a ticking time bomb that time, neither I was realizing how much I was hurting Violet.


“You know what? We should break up. Yeah. It’s the best thing we can do right now.”


“WHAT?” - Violet got up from the chair and it's as if her body had frozen. She suddenly turned pale and her body lost strength. She began to walk along the room from one corner to the other in panic. Her body swayed and her steps were heavy and dragged. I had the notion of the harm I was doing to me and her. Brian looked at me and I nodded to him to help her. Brian approached Violet, putting his arm around her waist bringing her to the chair where, before, she sat near my stretcher. She had no more strength to cry. She looked at me like an act of desperation asking mercy but the anger which had invaded me was greater than all. I lost so much with this disease and I was about to lose the woman I most loved in my entire life.


“Jimmy, bro. Calm down. It’s not the best choice!” – Brian said looking at Violet and me trying to show me what I was really doing.


“I’m sorry, Violet but… forget the wedding. Forget everything. We can be friends but… I know everything will change from now and-”


“You can’t be serious! My God! You can’t be serious, Jimmy!”


“You don’t understand-”


“I always understood you. It was because of that we started dating so soon and our love still remains. Jimmy, I don’t wanna leave you alone right now…”


“See? You’re saying that beca-”


“I’m saying this because I love you, Jimmy. I do love you. You promised…”


“I know I promised we would be together till the end but… this is the end, Violet.”


“You promised but I also promised, Jimmy. I'm not sorry for you and you don't understand it but at least I want to be the person you want to be until the last seconds from your life and you don't understand it, Jimmy. Why, God damn it?”


“Go home, Violet. I need to be alone.”