Hard Decision.

“At least, I never left him behind.”


“You don’t know anything about us, Brian. You don’t know what happened to us. You don’t know wh-”


“Please, Violet. Stop with that motherfucker conversation. You knew Jimmy had a band. If you ‘lost’ him, you could find him easily.”


“I tried, okay? I tried everything I could. But, then… I gave up…”


“Exactly! You gave up. You don’t deserve him. He never gave up on you. Never!”


“Neither did I!”


“Neither you? My good God, please Violet. Go away. I’m tired of listening you saying just shit and trying to be a good girl who is in love. Get out.” – Brian got up of the couch, leaning to the coffee table, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray, then walking very fast towards the door and opened it to me. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say neither what to think. I was completely surrendered about my thoughts and what I was doing there. I tried to understand why Brian was doing that with me. I understood on one hand… I could do more. If I hadn’t given up on Jimmy, if I still looking for him, maybe I was with him early than I am. But, on other hand, why did Brian hate me so much? Just because I used drugs? Okay, I know it’s a good reason to hate me. I hate myself because of that but he isn’t the right person to point me a finger about this. He accused me like I was the responsible to what Jimmy does or did in the past or like if who influenced Jimmy to take drugs was me. I looked behind at him and he was holding the door waiting for me to leave the house. I took my stuff and walked towards the door.


“I know you won’t leave Jimmy…” – he said, grabbing my arm. – “… but I hope you tell him all what we both know.”


“Don’t worry with that.” – I said, shaking my arm for him to leave me but he grabbed it again and pulled me close to him. For a few moments, he didn’t say a word. He just looked at me. I began to feel very nervous and I could do anything to defend myself. His eyes were fixing mine and he was biting his bottom lip. Suddenly, he pushed me out of his house and slammed the door with all the strength he had. I almost fell on the floor but fortunately I felt someone holding me. I looked up to see who was helping me and I saw a blonde girl, very pretty and her face was familiar to me. I stared at her and when she smiled at me, I could identify her. It was Michelle, Brian's girlfriend.


“Are you okay?”


“Yeah, thanks to you, I’m great. Thank you.”


“Wait. I know you. You’re Violet, Jimmy’s girlfriend.”


“Yeah. You’re Michelle, right? Brian’s… girlfriend…”


“You can call me Chelle. What are you doing here? Did you come with Jimmy? And… why did you almost fall on the floor? It seems someone push you.” – Well, I had a big problem in hands. I couldn’t tell Michelle what happened between Brian and me. I couldn’t tell her I went here to talk alone with Brian neither he pushed me away from his house. So, I stood looking at her, waiting the words coming out of my mouth and waiting for a brilliant idea. – “Violet? Do you need something? Suddenly, you became pale.”


“No, no, I’m okay… I just need… I have to go, okay? Jimmy’s waiting for me.” – I hugged her and started walking very fast towards nowhere.


“But, Violet, wait! Do you need a ride?”


“No, thanks!”


I kept walking along the streets, trying remembering the way to Jimmy’s house. I never felt so humiliated like that moment. I began to feel a big grip in my chest and in my throat as if a rope that was slowly being tighter. My eyes grew heavy and it wasn't long until tears ran from my face. I kept walking and walking until I realized I was lost. I was in the middle of a street just with big residences. There wasn’t anyone there and all I could do was to call to Jimmy. I took my bag and looked for my phone. Unbelievably, when you really need something in your bag, you find everything less what you looking for. I took all my stuff out of the bag to find my phone while I was fighting back tears. When I found it, it seemed Jimmy had read my mind and he was calling me at the exact moment I was going to call him.


“Hi, babe.”


“Vi? Where are you? I woke up an hour ago and I’m waiting for almost half an hour. What is happening?”


“Jim… I need you…”


“Baby, can you tell me what’s going on? Where are you? Where have you been all this time?”


“I’m lost… I went to Brian’s house but now I’m lost…”


“Brian’s house? What were you doing the- Did you walk too far of there?”


“A little. I’m in a street with lots of residences. Huge residences.”


“There’s a red house there, right?”


“Yeah, a big one.”


“Wait there for me.” – Some minutes later, Jimmy was already there. He parked the car, got up of it very quickly and ran towards me. I tried not to cry but all that pain and humiliation was greater than all the rest. I hugged him tightly, hiding my face on his chest. Jimmy didn't even a question about what was happening. He just took me to the car and went home.

Arriving there, I went towards the couch and sat there while Jimmy walked very slowly towards me, stirring the car keys expressing his nerves. Jimmy was that kind of people who didn't force people to talk when they weren't ready for it. He waited until the right moment to find that he could try to realize what had happened. He was stopping near the couch, staring at me. I couldn't look at him at that moment. I didn't know how to tell him the whole truth. I didn't know how I would justify the fact that I have hidden I had gone to Brian's house. I didn't know how to tell him how Brian was violent with me. Well... I thought for a moment that I shouldn't tell him this part but... one of the things that Jimmy and I promised to each other was never hide things from each other and I had already broken that promise once. After a few long minutes, Jimmy sat beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders and giving me a kiss on the forehead.


“I never saw you like this…”


“I know. I would prefer that you didn’t have reason to see me like this.”


“Why are you saying this?”


“Jimmy, I have something very serious to tell you. About my past.”


“Violet, if it's something that has nothing to do with me, I'd rather not know. It’s everything okay!”


“No, it has nothing to do with you but I need to tell you this. We never had secrets, Jimmy. I didn't want none of this had happened but I have to tell it to you.”


“You and Brian…”


“Hell no. Never ever! Even if he were the last man on this planet.”


“Why are you saying this? Why did Brian hate you so much? Why did you two hate each other so much?”


“I can have an idea why Brian hate me… it’s because of that I need to tell you this.”


“Jesus, Vi. You’re worrying me. What happened?”


“Yesterday, when Brian came here, he asked me to go to his house today because he knew something about me. I tried to ignoring him but… I know his your best friend and the last thing I want is break with your friendship with him.”


“Was he gross with you?” – I stopped talking for a few moments. I couldn’t tell Jimmy what Brian did to me. I knew Jimmy was freaking out with him and I didn't want them to discuss because of me. So I decided to protect Brian.


“He didn't what he did on purpose, Jim. He wants to protect you.”


“Please, tell me what he did to you.”


“Nothing in special, Jimmy. If I was on his place, maybe I did the same… or worst. He just accused me I don’t love you enough because if I loved you so much as I say, I had to looking for you till the end. I hadn’t given up on you. And… he was a little… He…”


“Violet, what did he does to you? Don’t hide me things!”


“I’m not hiding anything, Jim. He kicked me out of his house. Just that. But then Michelle came up and… she helped me.”


“I need to talk to him but now I need to know what made Brian acted like this.”
“It’s not easy…”


“I know babygirl but… please… tell me. Maybe knowing it, I’ll understand Brian.”


“Brian had a cousin or a friend who knows me. When I no longer received your letters, I started using drugs.”


“I had already suspected.”


“It’s something I’m not proud. I feel ashamed to tell you this. You always saw me as a perfect woman and now I know I disappointed you. I know you-” - I couldn't say anything more. Jimmy grabbed my face with his hands and approached me. I looked into his blue eyes that were now flooded with tears and with a deep sadness. I knew he was very disappointed with me but I also knew he would do everything to hide it. I've never been a holy but one of the things which did Jimmy fall in love for me was the fact that I know how to control at the right times. I wasn't a person of extremes. I never was. Rather it, Jimmy was always a person of extremes and I was the pillar of him for everything. I could give him a hand at the right time and he always trusted me. He knew I'd never let him go too far and I would never go through these paths. I also believed on it. But as I was the pillar of Jimmy, he was my pillar. And his absence made ​​me lose that self-control and go to these paths which I avoided him to go.


“I’m not happy with that, babygirl. I can’t lie to you. But… I understand you. You’ve always been strong. You are a strong woman who faces the situations never giving up on anything. But I also know it wasn't easy handling this situation. I also often felt weak. I gave up too many times. And traveled this road many many times and also I'm not proud of it because you always tried to make me not choose this path. But I needed something stronger than me and you weren’t with me. I needed you like you needed me. Both of us were weak. But that's over. We are together again and it won't that which will separate us again. Neither it nor anyone. But… you said Brian knew someone who knew you too.”


“Yeah… A friend of him was in London too. Niko. I knew him. He was friend of Paul, the drug dealer. He used us to sell drugs… when you stopped receiving my letters, Brian spoke with Niko to know if he knew me. Niko told him I was selling and using drugs and Brian didn't say anything to you for you don't get even more disappointed than you were.”


“Okay… first of all: did you sell drugs? Second: did Brian know everything about you and never told me anything?”


“I’m still trying to understand why I accepted to sell drugs. Easy money, I don’t know. And about Brian… he wanted to protect you. He’s still trying to protect you even in a bad way but...”


“Fuck this shit! I love you both anyway.” – Jimmy jumped from the couch and pushed me with him. We got up of the couch and he hugged me tightly giving me a big kiss on my lips. We stood like that for some minutes and then his lips run for my cheek. – “You’re perfect anyway, you know that.”


“Brian doesn’t think the same.”


“Don’t worry with him. He loves you. And I tell you more: if ever anything happens to me, I would like you two get together.”


“What? Are you crazy? Brian and I?”


“Believe me. He’s my best friend ever. You’re the woman of my life and also my best ‘girlfriend’. And you guys have a lot in common. I think I fell in love for you because you are the female version of Brian.”


“Female version of Brian? You already called me lots of things but… female version of Brian?”


“What? Brian is a very beautiful guy.”


“You’re more beautiful than him.”


“Am I?”


“More beautiful, more talent, sexier, crazier…”


“Show me you’re telling me the truth.”


“Brian isn’t here so I can’t tell you anything.”


“Are you suggesting me to make a ménage?”


“GOD! No!”


“Actually, it’s an awesome idea!”


“No, no, no. Forget what I said.”


“You know I like these kind of adventures.”


“I know, Jimmy. I know. But you could choose another person, right?”


“I love Brian. He’s my best friend and I just can share you with him.”


“Okay, never mind. I’ll prove you I don’t need Brian here for anything.”


“Hmm… I liked that tone!” - I grabbed Jimmy's hand and contrary to what he was waiting for, I took him into the kitchen. I knew I didn't eat anything yet because he couldn't eat until to know what was going on with me and also because he respects me and he couldn't take the breakfast without me. So, I prepare a rich breakfast to us and then we went to take a walk towards the beach to relax a bit.

The next day, Monday, Jimmy and I had to wake up early. I had to go to the University to continue my research and to chat with Bea about what had happening in the last days and Jimmy went to another day of rehearsals to prepare for the tour. That day, I could advance all my tasks and then I decided to go to the studio where the band was rehearsing. Getting there, I saw Val and Michelle sitting on a couch. Val was reading a book while Michelle was staring at Brian. She watched his every move, every gesture. Admired every laugh, every word he spoke, every note played on his guitar. In a few seconds, I could see how much she was in love with him. Looking at her, it's as if I were seeing me when I looked at Jimmy committed to do his best, or in a conversation, or with a simple joke. I approached them and when they realized I was there, stood up and greeted me. I sat next them and Jason noticed I was there and quickly he hugged Jimmy and turned him to look at me. Jimmy showed me a huge smile and left the room, running towards me and hugged me.


“What are you doing here, baby?”


“Oh! Good way to greet me.”


“Oh, babygirl, you know I’m happy to have you here! I just wasn’t expecting you to come up here.”


“I know, Jim!” – I put my hands around his neck and gave him a passionate kiss and then he held me again. I closed my eyes for seconds to feel all his body next to mine. Every time Jimmy hugged me, I felt an unexplainable happiness and it was as if I was still living a dream. But when I opened my eyes, they found Brian's ones. He was looking at us with a very weird look and that bothered me. I felt some anger in his eyes as if he hadn't given up. Give up for what I still couldn't understand. His eyes never left mine and it was me who divert the gaze. I could see through the corner of my eye that Michelle had also attended the scene and it wouldn't let me happy. She got up from the couch and walked over Brian. I looked at Jimmy and fortunately I forgot what had happened seconds ago.


“I love you, Sullivan.”


“I love you more, Miss Prescott. Now, I have to go. Tour will start next week and…”


“I take care of her, Jimmy. Don’t worry.” – Val said, smiling and holding my hand while closed the book and put it over her legs.


“Take care of her like she is your own daughter.”


“I will.”


Jimmy gave me a kiss on my forehead and returned to the room where the guys were. We could see them because we had a hall with a big glass on it. I sat next to Val and Michelle approached us with a sad look. She looked at me and I quickly looked at my lap. I did it unconsciously. Perhaps by weight of conscience. I knew why she was sad. I realized Brian was avoiding her and I thought it was because of me, not even knowing exactly why. She sat next to me, getting me in the middle of the twin sisters. Val leaned forward to get a look at her sister.


“Chelle, what’s happening?”


“I don’t know… Maybe I’m just seeing things where I shouldn’t see.”


“What are you talking about?” – Val asked. I looked at Michelle and I showed her a sad smile. I understood her. She looked at me and held my hand. She looked at it for a few moments and then she looked at me again with her eyes full of tears.


“He didn’t hate you, Violet. Believe me, he didn’t hate you.”


“Why did he kick me from his house, like that? Why does he treat me like that, Michelle?”


“You know why, Vi. You just don’t want to see it, but you know why. It’s not only because of Jimmy.”


“Can you tell me what is going on here?” – Michelle and I looked at Val. She was completely confused but, believe me, I was even more. After hearing what Michelle said, I was even more confused than I already was. I didn't know what she meant. Will be because of drugs? Or was there something else I didn't know. Michelle knew something she shouldn't know. Something that Brian was hiding and didn't want to reveal. I went back to look at Michelle waiting for her to say something else to her sister.


“Just look for the way Brian acts when Violet is present.”


“What you mean?” – I said.


“I'm not blaming you for anything, Vi. I like you very much and just look at you and Jimmy to understand how much you guys love each other. But Jimmy isn't the only one who feels something strong for you.”


“No, Chelle. You’re not trying to say Brian is fall in love for Violet, are you?” – Val said, Val said, taking off her glasses, with a very surprised look of who was thinking that Michelle was going crazy. I looked at Val and then at Michelle waiting for some reaction for her. Michelle smiled again looking at her lap and then she looked at Brian.


“Yesterday, when you left, I came into his house and… He was breaking everything. He was taking everything that was over the living room's furniture. I approached him slowly because I noticed how nervous he was. I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me with a look I had never seen on him. He took a deep breath and apologize me. He walked up the stairs, looked at me and ran up to his room. I didn't dare go to him. He wanted to be alone and I respected that. I took all the things that were on the floor and a few minutes later he was back. I shouldn't say this but ... he said your name when I was with him last night... then, he left the bedroom and spent the rest of the night in the living room. This morning was calmer but... when you arrived, the way he looked at you... I'm not upset with you because I know it's not your fault but, Violet ... I'm afraid that this goes any further. I don't want to lose Brian. I love him too much and I fear for you. He’s the best friend of Jimmy...”


"Excuse me, girls. I gotta go." - I couldn't hear another more word. I couldn't be one more second there. I got up, grabbed my things and left the studio. I couldn't be responsible for the demise of the relationship of Brian and Michelle. And, most important of all, I couldn't be responsible for the end of the friendship of Jimmy and Brian.

Dark Past.

“What you want from me, Brian?” – I put my hands on my waist and looked at him with a serious look. I was ready for hearing everything but less what he was really thinking about. He looked at me, putting his cigar between his lips, with a pervert smile on them.


“Me? You know what I want from you… Violet.” – The way we said my name I understood what he really wanted and I couldn’t believe on it. Jimmy is his best friend and I am Jimmy’s girlfriend. How could Brian say and think in that shit about me, when I am Jimmy’s girlfriend? Honest to God, I never liked Brian but I didn’t tell anything of that to Jimmy because I know how much Brian is important to him but after this scene, I couldn’t even look at Brian without feeling disgust him.


“How dare you, you son of a bitch?”


“Calm down, my dear. I’m not thinking about dirty things… come to my house, tomorrow. We need to talk.” – He got up of the couch and gave me a little card with his phone number and address. When I was about to tell him I didn’t have anything to talk with him and to forget me, Brian turned his back to me and I saw Jimmy coming down the stairs with his beautiful smile on his face. Fortunately, he didn’t hear our conversation. I hid the card between my waist and my panties and walked towards Jimmy. – “Jimmy! what’s up, man?”


“Gates! I’m great, actually!”


“Yeah, I could figure it out while I was talking with the woman of your dreams. Violet is a good girl, isn’t she?” – Sarcasm was Brian’s tone while he talked with Jimmy about me but never taking his eyes of me. I smiled to him with sarcasm too trying making Jimmy believe everything is okay between Brian and me. Jimmy put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a kiss on my forehead what made Brian’s sarcastic smile faded of his face.


“Good girl? She’s the most perfect girl in the world. Do you want a coffee or something?”


“Yeah, thanks. Actually I didn’t take breakfast already and I’m a little hungry” – Seriously? He came to Jimmy’s house, offends me and now he wanted to take breakfast with us? Okay, Vi calm down, his Jimmy’s best friend. I took a deep breath while I sat in the chair. Jimmy said Brian to take the breakfast with us and, of course, he said yes. I understand, it’s normal Brian come here and spend days with Jimmy… even don’t like him, I would try to be nice with him. Actually, all I wanted was to see Jimmy happy. But, after what happened, it would be hard and the last thing I wanted was to have Jimmy and Brian mad with each other because of me. No, I didn’t want that. So, I looked at Jimmy to come back to my normal and for a few moments, I was nice with Brian and Brian with me. They talked about the shows they would have in USA and about the new album. Jimmy also asked me to go with them on tour but it would be very difficult to me because I had dates to comply and no one makes the master for me. Of course, Brian had to say something very funny to attack me.


“Jimmy, come on! You have to understand. Violet is a future doctor and… she won’t always around when you need her.”


“Look, Brian. I don’t know what your purpose is but… I can be a person committed to my studies and my professional future but you can be sure that I never ever put anything in front of people I love, most in this case, Jimmy and my family. Whenever Jimmy needs me, you can be sure, I'll be there!”


“Oh, really? Like in the last time?”


“Enough, Brian! Fuck, what’s wrong with you? Violet is important to me. She always was. What the fuck, man? Why are you always attacking her?”


“I’m sorry, bro. I’m sorry… it’s just… I’m jealous, you know? I was used to have you all the time to me and now...”


“You have Michelle and I never attacked her for that.”


“It’s different, Sullivan. You know it’s completely different. My relation with Michelle is… something more physical and you and Violet… never mind. I’m sorry!”


“Well, I’m sorry guys. I will prepare my things.” - I said, putting the napkin on the table and taking my dishes to the dishwashing machine. Jimmy and I would have to go to my ‘house’ in the residence to get my stuff. It would be very hard to me leave Bea there alone but I’m sure she will understand.


“Don’t forget we have to go to the University.” – Jimmy said with a tone of responsibility on his voice.


“Sure. Bea will become a heartbroken.”


“Don’t worry with her. She’ll be fine.”


“But… wait. Why are you two saying that?" – Brian interrupted us. I looked at him and he was clearly confused with our conversation. I though immediately the next days he would attack me even more.


“Violet is moving to here. Finally, we’re together.”


“Oh… congratulations!”


I went upstairs to Jimmy’s bedroom to dress me up and to get my stuff. Well, our clothes were all on the floor, I took them and when I looked up to put Jimmy’s cigarettes on the desk, something else called all my attention. It was a very big iguana! I wasn’t expecting to find an iguana in a calm Saturday morning so I screamed for letting me scared. I started walked very slowly towards the cage where the iguana was. When I was near it, I moved myself down to look at it. The iguana looked at me as well and it seemed to be smiling at me. I took a risk and take it out of the cage and put it on my arm.


“You can’t fall in love with her, Mr. Bungle. She’s mine.” – I knew it was Jimmy talking but I was a little scared to have his iguana on my arm that what I did was to jump and screaming like crazy. Jimmy started laughing while he walked toward me to take Mr. Bungles out of my arm because it was fucking scared too and it could hit me with its big and long tail. – “Don’t worry, Bungle. She will be used to you. You need to understand you’re very sexy like me and girls become nervous when they are near us.”


“So imagine how this girl here becomes having you two so near her.”


“Are you challenging me for something?”


“No… I’m just teasing you.”


“So you’re challenging. Mr. Bungle, go home and close your eyes.” – Jimmy put Mr. Bungle on its cage, and then he took his shirt off and walked towards me.


“Wow, we can’t Jimmy.”


“We what?”


“We have so many things to do…”


“Yeah, and make love is one of them! Come here, my sexy babygirl!” – Jimmy grabbed my waist and began to kiss my neck and trying to take my Ramone’s shirt off. I felt my temperature rising and the desire was also increasing. He pulled my body against him and the way he was kissing me was driving me completely crazy. But I wanted to work things out with Bea as soon as possible and then Jimmy and I were just free to make love all day. So my hands went up from his chest down to his shoulders and I started trying to push him away from me.


“Jim, did you hear me? We have lots of things to do… do you want me to live with you, or not?”


“Of course I want but now we can-”


“Now… now… now we have to go. Sooner we go to the residence, sooner we return to make love and more love... come on, we gotta go.”


“Grrr, I hate you!”


“Yeah, yeah. You hate me as much as I hate you. You’ll thank me later. Now, let me dress up.” - I gave Jimmy a deep kiss and he moved away frustrated with me, pouting. I began to pout too and quickly he changed his mind and started tickling me till I couldn't get it no longer.
Jimmy and I dressed ourselves up and some minutes later we were driving towards the residence. It was Saturday so there weren’t many people there. For sure, everybody was sleeping yet, reeling from the party on Friday. We went to my room and I open the door very careful to avoid waking up Bea. Too bad. She was already awake.


“May I?”


“Violet! Sure. It’s also your house, remember?”


“Yeah, but I’m with Jimmy so…”


“Oh God! Do wanna kill me? Come in…” – Jimmy is one of Bea’s idol and she wasn’t used to the idea I was his girlfriend since our teenage time and with all that confusion in the bar, we still hadn’t managed to talk about it. Jimmy and I came into the room and greeted her. I started to feel a little bit nervous because I didn’t know how to tell Bea I was about to leave her. She became my best friend and without her here it would be very difficult to me in the first days. Jimmy and I sat in my bed and Bea was sitting on her bed looking at us with a worry look. She understood something was wrong.


“Why do I get the impression that you have something important to tell me?”


“Bea… you know Jimmy is very important to me…”


“Yeah, I know. And, honestly, I’m very happy for you two. You deserve to be happy, Vi. And you too, Jimmy.”


“Thank you. I’m glad to know that. You know Violet and I passed many years without know a shit about each other and now being together is the best thing that could happen to us.”


“Oh my God! I can’t believe this... You’re moving to his house, aren't you?”


“I’m sorry, Bea. You know you’re very import-” – I couldn’t finish the sentence because Bea jumped through her bed and ran to us and hugged us tightly.


“I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!!! Finally, you can live what you didn’t live along these fucking years.”


“Don’t you mind, Bea? You know all I want now is to be with Jimmy.”


“Of course, I don’t mind. Come on! You’re dating with my idol. Are you kidding me? It’s the best news ever!”


“You can go every time you want to my… to our house. And it’ll be good because when the guys and I go in tour, you can stay there with Violet. I don’t wanna leave her there alone.”


“Really? Are you talking serious?”


“Yeah! You’re Vi’s best friend. I want her with me all the time but… I know I have to share her with some people. With you, for instance. And about the tour, yeah, I’m talking very serious. You can stay there with Violet.”


“I love you, Jimmy. Thank you!”


“You know I do everything and anything to have you happy and comfortable.”


“Fuck! You’re so fucking cute! Now, you know what you have to do?” – Bea said and I knew something bad would come out of her mouth. And I wasn’t wrong.


“What?”


“Babies!!! Lots and lots of babies!!!”


“Don’t worry with that! I’m a baby’s machine!”


“Jimmy!”


“What? It’s true!”


After minutes of conversation about the last night, Jimmy, Bea and I started to get all my stuff. All my clothes were already on my suitcases and now only missing my decorative items, makeup and, of course, the letters. Interestingly, they were found for Jimmy from under my bed. He opened the heart-box and when he saw there were all his letters, looked at me and smiled. His eyes showed me all what he was feeling at that moment. The blue of his eyes became clear and brighter and his smile... well, I was sure he was very happy and proud to know that I never stopped thinking about him for a minute. When everything was ready, I got ready to say good bye to Bea.


“I’ll miss you, Vi.”


“I’ll miss you too. Who will be here with you now?”


“I’ll talk with Lisa. She wasn’t very happy with her roommate so... but she isn’t you.” – Bea hugged me and started crying. I didn’t take too long to cry too. I’ll miss her so much. She was the one who really want to know me better, besides Jimmy.


“I know, girl. But… I’m still working with you every day, remember?”


“Thank God!!!”


“I love you, Bea.”


“I love you too. Take care of her, Jimmy. Please.”


“I will, don’t worry. Thank you to support my girl on her difficult days.”


“Thank you to make her happy.”


Jimmy and I took the suitcases and left the room. I was very worry about Bea. I know I would see her every day like before but it’s different. We live together almost six months and I was used to wake up with her madness every morning, fall asleep talking about girl stuff… but in the other hand, I was moving to Jimmy’s house and finally we could be together forever and nothing is better than that.
It was now lunch time and we went to a restaurant near the beach to eat something. We went to the Seafood Zone and coming in, we saw Johnny and Lacey there. They saw us too and we stayed in the same table as them.

When we approached to the table, Jimmy slapped Johnny's head and they started fighting like little kids. It made me remind when Jimmy did the same with my brother when we were younger. My brother was older than us but Jimmy didn’t care. He kicked my brother’s ass easily. Lacey and Johnny became very happy with the news of Jimmy and I would live together and we talked about do a party or something to celebrate. Then, we talked about the tour. Yeah, the tour. The next month, the band would do the tour around America and Jimmy and I would be far from each other once again and it was something that scared me a lot. I was afraid to lose him again. I wasn’t prepared for that. Neither now, neither never. I knew it was just two months out but I would always think he doesn’t come back for some reason. The fact of being in his house left me less worried but I couldn't stop thinking about the last time I let him go and he didn't return about seven years. I didn't want to go through all the pain again because this time I would have no hope.

After the lunch, Jimmy and I returned home. We left there my stuff and then we drove to the house of Jimmy’s house. Jimmy told them we were together again and of course they wanted to see me. I missed Jimmy’s parents a lot. We had a very strong relation since the beginning. Actually, I missed his entire family, but unfortunately, I wouldn’t see his sisters. They married already. Maybe someday we lunch together in a family lunch any Sunday.

When we arrived there, Barbara, Jimmy’s mom, and Joe, Jimmy’s dad, were on the porch sitting on two benches each, waiting for us. Barbara seeing the car parking in the front of the house got up of the chair and ran towards the car.


“My mom is as happy as me, I guess. Get ready to be crushed against her chest.” – Jimmy said, holding my hand and giving me a kiss on my cheek.


“I don’t mind. I miss her!” – I smiled to him and we got out of the car. Barbara took her hand to her chest and showed me a huge smile. Her eyes were full of tears as mines. I walked towards her, without saying a word, and she hugged me, pushing my body against her, giving me lots of kisses on my face. That hug was so good. Bit by bit, I was realizing everything what was happening wasn’t a dream. It was real. My real life.


“Oh, my dear! I’m so happy to see you again!”


“And I’m so happy to be with all of you after all these years. My God! I can’t believe this!” – I hugged her again and then I looked up and Joe was approaching us with a beautiful smile on his face. Jimmy is very similar as his father. Since the day I met them, every time I look at Joe, I imagine Jimmy when he becomes older. I pulled me away from Barbara and Joe hugged me too giving me a kiss on my forehead.


“The happiness of my son is back. I’m so glad you two are together again.”


“True love overcomes all, Joe.”


“It’s true, Vi. It’s true.”


Jimmy greeted his parents with a hug and then we came into the house. I couldn’t control myself when I went to the living room and saw one picture that means so much to me. A picture of Jimmy and I in the last day we had been together. I stopped walking for a few moments and silent tears rolled down my face. Jimmy understood why I was crying and he just turned me to him to face me and gave me a passionate kiss.


“Neither me, neither my family forgot you. And when my dad said my happiness is back, he knows exactly what he’s saying.”


“I love you so much.”


“I know. I love you more. Let’s sit.”


Jimmy held my hand and we walked towards the couch and sat there joining with Barbara and Joe. Every time our eyes crossed, Barbara began to cry with happiness. Her hands didn't leave her chest as if she was trying to calm down her heart. As if she thought his son was safe now. Now he had everything that made him happy and now he was complete. She was right. Jimmy couldn’t stop smiling and he was always kissing me and caressing me like he did in the past. Nothing changed. Just our love that becomes stronger every day. Jimmy’s parents asked me about my parents and brother. When I said Barbara I has a little sister with her name, she became very proud. It was me who chose my sister’s name. I always loved the name Barbara but when I met Jimmy’s mom, and seeing she is one of the most sweet and nice people in the world, I wished my sister would be like her. We talked a little bit more about my family and what bring me to LA and then the hard question: what happened between Jimmy and I. Actually, we didn’t have an answer to that question. Maybe we lost each other when we moved to another house, or maybe another thing happened. We don’t know and maybe we’ll never know. Jimmy and I ended up spending the afternoon with his parents and stayed for dinner. Kelly, a sister of Jimmy, appeared there and stayed to dinner with us too. Jimmy and I felt very happy being together. That moment was like a step back in time to those days we lived in a love pure and innocent.

Some hours later, we came back home. We were very exhausted. I had no patience to pack my things and Jimmy and I still have much love to make. I went up to the bedroom while Jimmy went to the bathroom. I was putting my dressnight on thinking on that nice time I had with Jimmy's family. About 3 days I didn't talk with my mom so I decided to call her. I took my phone from my bag, and I sat on the bed. I was looking for the number and when I was about to call, I saw a card on the floor near the edge of the bed. It was the card that Brian had given me. I got up quickly from the bed and ran to pick it up before Jimmy saw it. I hate having to lie and hide things to Jimmy moreover now that we were beginning a new stage of our life but I wanted to understand what Brian wanted from me before saying something to Jimmy and, mainly, I wanted them to continue friends.


“Violet! Oh my God, it’s so good to hear your voice.”


“Hey mom! How have you been?”


“Great! Your sister is becoming a smarter girl and your dear brother is moving with Stephanie.”


“Really? Finally! I’m so happy for him!”


“Your brother grew up since he met Stephanie. I’m sure she’s the one. The hardest part is… now Baba and I are alone here…”


“Oh, please mom. Don’t say that. Someday I’ll visit you. In Christmas time!”


“We miss you so much!”


“I miss you too, mom. Listen, is Baba awake?”


“No. it’s 6am, Vi. I’m awake because I’ll have a meeting this morning.”


“Too bad. I miss her. Give her a kiss from me.”


“Don’t worry. So, what happened to you along these 3 days?”


“Mom… I have something important to tell you!”


“Aren’t you pregnant, are you?” – In that moment, Jimmy came into the room, jumped to the bed and started kissing me and biting my neck, trying to tease me. He was getting it.


“Jesus, mom. No! But… it’s here someone who wants to talk to you.”


“Who?”


“You’ll recognize the voice.” – I gave the phone to Jimmy and he started smiling like a kid. He took the phone and told me almost whispering how he was too nervous to talk with my mom but he did it.


“Mary! Congratulations to have a wonderful and gorgeous daughter!” – With that, of course my mom would recognize who was talking with her. Jimmy was always saying that to her when we started dating. I could imagine my mom face when Jimmy said this now.


“Oh God! JIMMY?”


“MARY!”


“Oh God bless you!!! I can’t believe this. How are you? Jesus Christ! How did you find each other? Oh dear Jimmy…”


“Calm down, Mary! Everything’s okay. Vi and I still together. I mean, she moved to my house today. We’re living together.”


“OH MY GOD! You have no idea how much happy I am today. It’s the best news my daughter could give me. Jimmy, I’m so happy for you two. You two was made to each other and the fact you found each other again it’s a sight God really exists.”


“Thank you for all, Mary. You have to come here. My house is open for you and your daughter and son. By the way, how's Phil?”


“Almost married. He moved with Stephanie.”


“Really? Big boy! I miss him and I’m very excited to meet Barbara.”


“And she’s very excited to know you. She was always asking Violet who was Jimmy Sullivan of the letters. My girls spent days in Vi’s bedroom reading your letters. You’re very important to Vi, you know that?”


“I know Mary. And believe me… she’s my life!”


“I’m sure she is. Thank you for all Jimmy. Thank you to make my girl happy.”


“It’s a pleasure. I’ll pass to Vi, okay?”


“Okay! Take care, Jimmy!”


I talked a little more with my mom, or rather, I tried to calm her down because she was so excited with the news and began crying and it was hard to relax her again. It was good to see my mom was happy because of us. After all, my brother, sister and I are the important thing she has in life. I hang up the call and Jimmy was already lain down on the bed. I put my phone and the Brian’s card on my bag and went to bed. I lay next to him and began to kiss his chest and his neck. Hepushed me to him grabbing my arm and kissed me very slowly in his own way, while I bite his lips very gently. He pushed me to over him, also taking my nightdress, leaving me just with my panties, sitting over him. He was just in boxers so quickly I could feel his upright member near my hot hideout. He grabbed my wrists, making me hold the top of the bed. He started licking my breasts, his hands was travelling to my back from my legs while I moan without stopping. He pulled away my panties and I felt him taking his boxers off. He was still kissing and licking my breast but then his lips travelled down and down. Now I was feeling his tongue licking my sensitive area. My body started shuddering and moans were constant this time. He was really teasing me and all I wanted in that moment was feeling him inside of me.


“Jimmy, come inside of me deep in my passion… come on!”


He didn’t say a word but a few moments later he began by threading his middle finger very slowly, while his tongue was moving slowly too. He realized I was becoming crazy, then after increasing the speed of his movements, he came out from under me and stood behind me. He kissed my neck, shoulders and back. I began to feel his big member coming inside me. We two started moaning. All his body was stuck to my back. One of his hands were caressing my breasts and my belly while the other was near mine, holding the top of the bed. My body was asking for more and more. He started with slow movements making me feel his entire member coming inside. He took it back and put it there again and that was driving me crazy. I was in his hands and couldn't do anything; I mean I didn't want to do anything. His movements began to be stronger and faster and his touch was becoming more intense and passionate.


“Can I coming inside of you?”


“Do it, Jim… I wanna feel you explode inside of me.”


He leaned his head next to mine and began moaning near my ear what made me feel even more exciting with him. I felt shivers along the spine and his movement was growing fast. Our breaths were getting heavier. I began to feel my body shuddering slowly until suddenly felt a huge pleasure that made me cry and scream for a few seconds. His penetrations were becoming slower but his kisses were increasingly passionate. Jimmy lay down beside me and I lay over him, kissing him. His hands were caressing my face and he kept telling me how much he loved me and how happy he was to have me with him. Past few minutes, we fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up very early. I took a shower, got dressed and got ready to go to Brian's house to find out what he really wanted from me. I took one of my notebooks and tore one of it sheets.


‘I went to buy something sweet as you to our breakfast. I won’t be long. I love you so fucking much, Jimmy. Till the end.
Violet.’


I put the sheet over my pillow, took my bag and left the room. I called a taxi and some minutes later, it was there. I left the house, came into car and while the trip; I call Brian saying I was arriving to his house. Less than 10 minutes, I was there. I left the car and walked towards the door and rang the doorbell. Quickly, he opened the door to me.


“Come in.”


“Good morning to you too.”


“Morning.”


“So, what you want from me?”


“Take it easy, baby. I woke up now.”


“I don’t care. What the fuck you want from me.”


“Do you want a coffee or something?”


“Brian… I’m not here to drink coffee or tea or some shit with you.”


“Okay. You can sit on the couch of the living room. I go just feed my dog.”


“Feed yourself too.”


“What did you say?”


“Nothing.” – Brian called his little dog Pinkly and went to the kitchen. A few moments later, he came back to the living room and sat next to me. I pulled myself away from him and he started laughing.


“I don’t bite.”


“You don’t bite but you try. What your problem with me? Please tell me because I’m freaking out with that. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. I never did anything to you, so please tell me what’s going on.”


“Talk me about… Paul!” – okay, now seriously. I didn’t understand where he wanted to go but for some moments my vision turned black. I didn’t want to believe he knew.


“Paul? I do not… I don’t know nobody calls Paul.” - I said stuttering, taking me off the couch and turning my back to him. Brian got up of the couch too and approached me. He grabbed my arm and pushing me to him. He was really near me and he was scaring me as hell.


“I know everything about you, Violet. Who’s Paul? WHO IS PAUL?” – He started hurting me and the fact he was yelling at me and talking about Paul left me very nervous. He was referring to a past I tried to forget but it never will erase from my memory. My eyes filled with tears and Brian left me, pulling himself away from me.


“Paul was a drug dealer... he used me to sell drugs. I also got in drugs for two years. But now I'm completely clean.”


“And Jimmy knows that?”


“No…”


“But you’ll tell him.”


“How did you know about Paul?”


“Well, Niko is a friend of mine. Niko is also a cousin of Paul. You should know that. When you stopped to answer to Jimmy’s letters, I started to look for something about you. Niko was in London too so… I tried. Some months later, he told me a girl calls Violet joined to the group. It was you. How could you?”


“I was lost… my life was a piece of shit. I started to not receive any single letters from Jimmy. I thought the worst things about him. Maybe he’s dead. Maybe he found someone. Maybe he hates me for some reason… you have no idea how much difficult was to live without Jimmy. Live with many fucking questions tormenting your mind every day. Miss him every single second. Miss his love, his friendship…”


“You can tell me all the fucking shit you want. You won’t convince me. I don’t trust you.”


“Why? Why, Brian? I’m clean now. I’m happy now. Jimmy is happy now. What you want more?”


“What I want? I told you already what I want. First of all, you’ll tell him this entire story. Then, you’ll get out of his house and of his life! You suck, Violet.”


“Fuck you, Brian. Who hear you talking believes you never touch in a piece of drug… everybody have a dark past. I have mine, you have yours. Yeah, I’ll tell the truth to Jimmy. I don’t have secrets with him.”


“You’re a digger.”


“A digger? What about you, Brian? Where’s Michelle? You’re using her. She loves you and you’re just using her for all your needs. Shame yourself.”


“Don’t talk about you don’t know about!”


“So, you do not talk about what you don’t know about. I love Jimmy with all my heart and soul. I waited for him all this years and I’ll never ever leave you, are you hear me?”


“Don’t think you have my support on it.”


“I’m seeing you’re a great friend of Jimmy. Congratulations.”